


Forsaken Emancipation

by ten9



Series: I Am My Beloved’s [10]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:49:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ten9/pseuds/ten9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A standalone prequel</p><p>Author’s notes: This installment jumps in towards the end of “Emancipation” from Season 1. That episode was so insulting I decided in a more intelligent and believable world this story would have played out much differently.</p><p>Here, Sam and Janet are both captains, they have yet to marry but they are living together.</p><p>This is what happened in their universe….</p><p>A quick note: we all know how women are treated around the globe in cultures we consider less enlightened and evolved than our own. However, of the assaults reported in 2007, statistics indicate that in the United States a woman is raped every 6 minutes and battered every 15 seconds. It also bears mentioning that it is widely believed by law enforcement agencies that anywhere from less than half to just a fraction of these offenses are ever reported at all. This means if you watch the pathetically executed and offensive episode, “Emancipation”, during that hour somewhere in the U.S., at the very least 10 women will have been raped and another 240 women will have been beaten or otherwise abused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forsaken Emancipation

**Author's Note:**

> (These characters are owned by their respective studios and producers; I make no profit from these stories, they are provided for personal use only and remain the copyright of the author. They may not be reproduced either in whole, in part or posted elsewhere without permission.)
> 
> This story was first published on Area 52, 12/6/2008.

**I Am My Beloved’s**

**Part 10**

**Forsaken Emancipation**

 

 

Sam had changed back into her BDU’s and was quiet when she finally rejoined the others, her split lip and the cuts on her throat looking ragged and painful in the firelight,

 

“You okay?” Daniel asked, having noted her silence and seemingly barely contained anger since her rescue.

 

“Yeah,” she said quietly, not looking at him, “I’m fine.”

 

“Really?” O’Neill asked, his voice dripping with disbelief, “I would think you’d at least be as happy as that time on P3X-595…” Carter stared at him with an icy-blue glare and he could feel his returning gaze turn steely as he looked back at her, “when you drank that stuff that made you take off yo…”

 

“You really need to stop talking… _sir.”_ She said, her contempt thinly concealed and the air around the group suddenly felt oppressive. “But thanks again for finally getting there when you did… raping me was next on the agenda for that asshole’s day.”

 

Jack broke eye contact first; he looked at Daniel and smirked before looking away.

 

~

 

Sam was awake when Abu galloped into camp the following morning.  She listened with dread as he reported that Turghan caught Nya and was returning her to his camp where she would be stoned to death.

 

“Oh, my god,” Sam groaned, “We have to go back.”

  
Jack barely turned to her, “Negative.” he said flatly.

  
Sam felt a familiar feeling of exasperation wash over her and she spoke slowly, carefully enunciating each word as though she were addressing a dim-witted child, “They are going to kill her!”

  
 _“Captain_ , if we go in there and try and get that little girl out, we could be starting a war on this planet.”

              
“And you don’t want to get involved…. So… what, are you a politician now?”

  
Jack’s eyes narrowed, “Easy, Captain.”

 _  
"De Opresso Liber_ , to free from oppression….”

  
Jack rolled his eyes, “I know what it is. That's our world, this is theirs.”

  
Daniel took a step forward, “Do we have the right to interfere with their customs or…reinterpret their laws?”

 _  
“_ I don’t believe I’m hearing this…” Sam shook her head, “Maybe you guy aren't getting it, but they're about to kill this girl simply for being in love with this boy!”

  
“Please,” Abu pleaded, “use your weapons and free her.”

  
The aging warlord shook his head, “The Colonel is right. It would mean war, Abu. My son, you must choose between one woman and your people.”

  
The young man’s eyes brimmed, “I cannot.”

  
“Neither can I,” Sam said forcefully, “I can't leave her here to die.”

 

Ever practical, Teal’c asked, “But if it is one life or many…”

  
Sam pressed her lips together in a thin line as she listened to their rationalizations and paced impatiently, constantly checking her watch until finally she could stand it no longer….

 

~

 

Teal’c stood silently regarding Captain Carter and Colonel O’Neill as they stood stiffly side-by-side.  This entire mission had been a confusing one for him.  He did not understand how men could turn from creating special laws to protect their women from the Goa’uld to treating them with such outright disrespect, and the behavior of both O’Neill and Daniel Jackson mystified him even more. Why did O’Neill take such pleasure in Captain’s Carter’s discomfort prior to her abduction, and why was Daniel Jackson so determined to have contact with a misogynistic people who threatened Captain Carter’s life within minutes of their meeting?

 

His attention returned to the tense group before him when Sam stepped forward,

 

“I challenge it.”

 

Teal’c raised an eyebrow as he watched Captain Carter and the Mongol warlord square off.  Sam took off her gun-belt and handed it to O’Neill,

 

“So when your back's up against the wall and there's no tomorrow, just take one day at a time and remember the bigger they are…”

  
”You don't think I can win.”

 

“Sure I do. I assume you've had at least _some_ basic hand-to-hand training.”

  
Sam’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly and her nostrils flared, “Level three, advanced.”

 

Jack patted her on the back, “You'll do fine.”

 

Carter’s lips pressed together in annoyance as she looked down at the Colonel’s hand on her shoulder and pulled it firmly away.  She walked to the opposite side of the encircled area, across from Turghan who was now bare-chested and stripped off first her Kevlar utility vest then her shirt, leaving her in her tank top.  Daniel’s eyes widened at the sight of dark bruises on her back and arms the tank top did not conceal.  Clearly, Sam had more than just a split lip and a couple of cuts on her neck.

 

“So,” Jack noted the bruises as well and his brow furrowed for a moment before turning to the aging man, “just out of curiosity, how do the spirits determine who wins?”

  
“It is a fight to the death.”

  
“Death?” Daniel watched in growing horror as they were suddenly held at knifepoint.  Startled, Sam pulled a long combat knife from the back of her belt and steeled herself for the first assault.  Daniel watched the warlord lunge at her, and it occurred to him that Sam was probably not in the best shape to be fighting an obviously uninjured, more agile opponent.

 

Sam knew she was in no condition to fight the sinewy warlord so she waited for him to make the first move.  He lunged at her and she quickly feinted to the left and slashing with her knife, caught Turghan on his side, making him cry out in pain and rage.  _Yeah,_ she thought distantly, _now he’s pissed…._

 

SG1 watched as the raging warlord flung himself at her, swinging wildly.  As Teal’c watched, it was clear to him that Captain Carter knew her injuries kept her at a disadvantage and her only chance was to make Turghan fight her with his emotions rather than his skill.  His eyes narrowed slightly when the Mongol’s blade caught Sam low on her hip, but he was unable to determine the severity of the wound as Captain Carter’s green BDU’s darkened with her blood.

 

Jack winced as Turghan’s blade cut Sam across her upper arm, and he winced again at the sight of blood as it poured down her arm and into a rag tied around her bicep.  He winced again when the large knife sliced through her tank top and across her ribs, finally making her cry out; _She’s getting her ass handed to her_ , he thought and glanced worriedly at Teal’c.  The two exchanged looks, a silent conversation passing between them when Turghan suddenly yelled.  Jack turned back to see him roar with rage and throw himself at Sam; she turned quickly to one side and kicked the warlord in the knee, making him cry out in pain.  On one knee, he swung his blade at her but she spun in a tight arc, slamming the blade from his hand with her combat knife.  Completing the arc with her body, she flung herself on top of him, the blade of her knife suddenly against the man’s throat,

  
”Carter!” Nya called to her, “Do not kill him!”

  
”I don't want to…” Sam said, more to herself than to the young girl.

  
”You have won,” the defeated man’s daughter begged, “I am free to go with Abu.”

 

“I want to hear it from you.” Sam rasped at the red-faced leader.

 

Turghan sneered up at her, “She's free to go.”

  
”And the Shavadai?”

 

“By law, there can be no war between us.”

 

“And me?”

 

Turghan glared defiantly at her and she pressed the knife more firmly against his throat. A thin trickle of blood emerged from beneath the edge of her blade, _Ah, now he has a cut that looks just like mine…_

  
”And me?” she rasped again through clenched teeth.

 

Daniel watched dumbstruck as Turghan finally conceded, taking quiet note of how Sam’s eyes burned with anger and pain.  She allowed the defeated warlord to get up and he quickly retired to his tent.  Teal’c crossed the area in long strides, Daniel following more cautiously behind him as they approached her,

 

“May I be of assistance, Captain Carter?” Teal’c gave her a small, respectful bow.

 

“Yeah, Sam, Jesus…” Daniel fumbled in his pockets for first aid supplies, but Sam waved him off,

 

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, breathless, “Teal’c can handle it.”

 

The two men exchanged looks as Teal’c helped her to sit on a log, “Uh, yeah … sure.” Daniel shrugged, feeling confused.

 

“We have many medicines that can help her.” Abu suddenly appeared behind Daniel, startling him,

 

“Oh, uh… thank you… you, uh, y-y-you know…” he draped him arm around the young man’s shoulders and led him a few steps away, “that would be great, we’d like to t-t-take some back with us…”

 

“You do not wish her to receive our medicines?” Abu asked.

 

“Oh, uh… n-n-n-no, I mean… I mean, _yes_ , absolutely….” Daniel rushed to reassure the young man, “Our healers just have to make sure it’s compatible with Doctor Car…” Daniel caught Sam’s dark glare over Abu’s shoulder and corrected himself, “Uh... _C-C-Captain_ Carter’s… I mean our… _our_ , uh….” His voice trailed away, still mystified by Sam’s annoyance.

 

Teal’c was silent while he dressed Sam’s wounds; his eyes noted the rope burns and lacerations around her wrists and traveled back to the cut he was bandaging on her upper arm.  His large hands were gentle as he worked, and when he finished splitting and tying the gauze his hands gently clasped just below the fresh bandage and inclining his head, made a slight motion at the clean rag that had been tied around her bicep,

 

“And what is this?”

 

Sam shook her head dismissively, “It’s nothing… I caught an arrow.  It’s not bad.” An eyebrow rose high on the Jaffa’s forehead and she added; “I tried to escape and got shot off a horse.” She drew a careful breath; the throbbing pain in her hip and leg reminding her of how hard she hit the ground… _was that this morning?_ she wondered tiredly.

 

The eyebrow remained in its arched position as Teal’c openly regarded her with admiration, “You are a true warrior, Captain Carter.”  He said quietly and began to work on the bleeding cut on her side.

 

“Yeah,” Sam snorted and winced all at the same time, “I really don’t feel like one at the moment…”

 

~

 

As Jack and Daniel said their goodbyes to Moughal and Abu, Teal’c repacked his first-aid supplies in his vest pockets and helped Sam to her feet.  She thanked him and started walking toward the gate, shrugging painfully into her over-shirt and gear as she walked.

 

Teal’c stared after her for a moment then looked to O’Neill, an eyebrow raised in silent inquiry before following her,

 

“Yah, so,” Jack’s forehead creased in a frown and he turned back to the Mongol leader,

“A six day wedding sounds really swell, but you know, we really should get back.”

 

Daniel hurriedly chimed in, “And we all wish Abu and Nya many years of happiness… and many sons too…”

 

~

 

Jack and Daniel trotted to catch up to Teal’c and Sam,

 

“Hey…” Jack called, “Carter, wait up.”

 

Sam kept walking; she was in so much pain she was afraid if she stopped she would not be able to start again.  All that kept her going was anger,

 

“Carter…” Jack trotted until he was alongside then dropped his gait to match Sam’s, “ _Godammit_ , Carter…” he finally grabbed her by the arm, making her gasp in pain and wrench away from him, stumbling to her knees, “Oh, shit… Carter, sorry…” he reached to help her, freezing when she growled at him through clenched teeth,

 

“Get away from me.”

 

Jack’s eyebrows arched high on his forehead, _“Excuse me?”_

 

Teal’c silently helped her to her feet and she turned angrily to O’Neill, “You heard me! Don’t bother when you have no respect for me as a member of this team.  If I’m just a fucking joke to you…”

 

 _“What?”_   Jack bristled, “What the fuck are you talking about!”

 

“And you!” she turned to Daniel, “It was obvious from the beginning these people treated women like shit…”

 

“S-S-S-Sam, I…” Daniel stammered.

 

“They wanted to kill me for being a woman and for talking, Daniel!”  Her eyes blazed white hot at him and unconsciously, he backed up a step, “For not wearing _women’s clothes_! But no, you just had to study…”

 

 _“Hey, whoa, Carter!”_   Now Jack was really pissed, “We did end up helping these people, right?”

 

Sam snorted in contempt, “Yes, and _who_ wanted to help them, Colonel?” she snapped.  Jack looked down briefly at his feet and Sam continued, “No, not your boots, _sir!_   _I_ wanted to go back!  _ME!”_ she pointed at Daniel, “But _my life_ be damned, he _just had_ to learn about this new, ancient culture because he’s sooo curious!” she whirled on Daniel again, “You _still_ wanted me to dress like them and adopt their culture even when you knew….”

 

“Just t-t-to…” Daniel stammered, “anthro-puh-puh-puh-pologists…”

 

 _“What fucking bullshit!”_ Sam roared, “Do you _really think_ any anthropologist, _especially a man_ , would ever _willingly_ want to absorb into a culture that would render him powerless?  That would kill him for speaking?  For showing his face? For not wearing the right clothes?”  It hurt so much to both breathe and speak at the same time and she struggled to keep her breath even; what strength she had left she really needed for walking back to the gate, “You want to make that choice for _your own life_ , Daniel?  Knock yourself out, but don’t ever,” she stabbed his chest with her forefinger with deadly emphasis, “I mean _ever_ , decide that for me again… understand?”

 

“Yes.” Daniel answered her in a small voice.

 

“Come on, Carter,” O’Neill was stunned by the force of her anger and patted at the air with his hands in a calming gesture, “The dress was…”

 

“Really fucking entertaining for you, wasn’t it, sir?” Sam walked past him and in the direction of the gate, “So funny… all of it, the last couple of days have been a real fucking laugh riot.” She stopped and drew a careful breath. Her face contorted in pain and she forced her features into a neutral expression before turning back to them, “Well,” she gave a breathless, sarcastic snort, “what do you know, the two _white guys_ finally have nothing to say.” She turned on her heel and once again headed for the gate.

 

~

 

She kept her eyes focused on the distant figure of the stargate as she trudged across the grassy plain.  She was so angry, so humiliated…. That the colonel and Daniel could be so completely oblivious to their own behavior on this mission….  To be fair, Daniel did suggest they leave at the first sign of trouble, but then his curiosity got the better of him and as the threats to her increased, the less concern he seemed to have.  The colonel too for that matter, he didn’t care if a young girl was stoned to death, he didn’t want to get involved and Daniel didn’t want to interfere with local traditions.  _What a fucking load of shit,_ she seethed, no longer caring that she was unable to walk without limping or breathe without wheezing audibly.

 

She swiped at the sweat that ran into her eyes, making them burn.  Blood had soaked through her bandages and she could feel it trickling down her side and inside the sleeve of her shirt.  Her ribs were bruised and she was sure at least two were broken from the beatings she endured.  Turghan clearly had a system for putting women in their place, and she recounted the first two times he had beaten her; he first punched her low in the gut, hard, to knock the wind out of her and render her unable to speak.  Then he would quickly hit her again from behind to force her to her knees, then again until she was fully on the ground so he could kick her repeatedly.

 

In spite of her victory in the fight with Turghan, she felt like she lost; the pain she felt made somehow worse by realizing how close she came to slitting the man’s throat.  In the past, she had certainly experienced the overwhelming desire to beat the hell out of some rude asshole who thought he was better than her because he had a penis… more than once, actually.  She knew there were plenty of men in the galaxy who believed they were superior and entitled to abuse women, but she had never come so close to killing one for harboring such asinine beliefs.

 

She cleared her throat and squinted at the gate as it grew in her vision, _but that can trigger it,_ she mused, trying vainly to ignore the fire that burned her insides with every breath her took.  _Oppression, humiliation, beatings, rape, murder… all of it can push a person… a people… into pushing back until… until…._

 

~

 

Teal’c radioed ahead for a medical team and when they emerged through the gate, he carefully placed a massive arm around Sam who tottered slightly as she painfully struggled to negotiate the downward angle of the ramp.  Jack and Daniel followed behind,

 

“Hey, Carter,” Jack tried to sound nonchalant, “why don’tcha’ have a seat till the doc gets here.” and motioned for her to sit on the steps at the base of the ramp.

 

She shook her head, not looking at him, “I’m fine.” She tried not to pant as she handed over her gear to the waiting weapons officer.

 

“What happened?” General Hammond asked as he entered the gateroom.

 

“Long story, sir,” Sam replied wearily, “permission to go to the infirmary before debriefing.”

 

“Of course, a medical team is on its way….”

 

Sam nodded and left, carefully placing one booted foot in front of the other, determined to leave under her own steam.

 

Gen. Hammond turned back to the colonel, “Is anyone else on your team injured?”

 

But it was Daniel who answered him; “No, sir, only Sam got hurt.”

 

The older man noted that Jack would not look at him as he busily divested himself of his gear, “Alright, we’ll debrief in one hour.”

 

~

 

Janet forced herself to affect a calm, professional pose in the elevator as it descended.  She knew only that SG1 requested a medical team for one of its members, but no one said who it was that required medical attention or how serious the injuries were.  She prayed Sam was alright, not that she preferred it be one of the other team members who was hurt, but she was in love with Captain Samantha Carter. She had fallen hard for the tall blond and she had already experienced the anxiety of having an injured Sam brought to her infirmary….

 

She stepped to the front of the elevator doors as it stopped on the level with the gateroom, her eyes widening in shock when the doors slid open to reveal a very pale Sam who stood waiting wearily for the elevator,

 

“Hey…” she grinned weakly at the petite woman, “fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Jesus, Sam…” Janet rushed forward, reaching for her arm but Sam jerked back, stumbling tiredly over her boots,

 

“Sorry….” She mumbled, “Just a little sore in places….”

 

Janet cautiously reached for her again, a nurse stepped quickly to her other side and together the two women helped Sam into the elevator and onto the gurney.  They helped her lie down and she moaned in appreciation at the soft feel of the thin mattress beneath her,

 

“Oh, my god…” she whispered, “This feels… so…”

 

Janet watched as Sam’s eyes lost their focus before her eyelids dropped down over them, “She’s out.”

 

As the elevator rose, she and her nurse unbuttoned Sam’s over shirt and cut down the length of the sleeves. Both women winced sympathetically at the raw and lacerated wrists and bruises and bloody bandages.  Janet carefully checked the wounds beneath the blood-soaked gauze and cut away the BDU’s from her blood-soaked hip.

 

“I’d hate to see the other guy.” Her nurse dryly remarked.

 

Janet only shook her head as she carefully palpated Sam’s skull for lumps and lacerations,

 

“I can’t find anything here…” she sighed, pulling Sam’s ruined shirt back over her chest, covering her as the doors slid open, “we’ll take her into the OR first, then I want a head CT…” She swallowed firmly past the lump in her throat, silently reminding herself that given her current assessment, Air Force regulations required her to check Sam for signs of rape.

 

~

 

Janet spent two hours carefully determining the extent of Sam’s injuries while she meticulously sutured sliced muscle tissue before suturing closed the skin.  She palpated her patient from head to toe and discovered broken ribs, but when her hands stopped at the dark, spongy-looking areas that covered Sam’s back, arms and legs, she decided a more comprehensive MRI was in order.  The split lip and the cuts across her throat were shallow and required only paper sutures, but cleaning and caring for the minor injuries still made Janet want to weep.

 

She needed to attend SG1’s debriefing but waited for Sam to regain consciousness in the recovery area first.  She pulled the privacy curtain around Sam’s bed and stood at her bedside, calling to her softly,

 

“Sam?  Sam, are you awake?”

 

Sam gave a lop-sided smile around her split lip when she felt gentle fingers comb through her hair, “Hey,” she croaked, her voice froggy from being intubated, “hi.”

 

“Hi,” Janet smiled down into still unfocused blue as Sam peered up at her, squinting against the harsh florescent lighting, “I have to go into a meeting but I need to talk to you for a minute first.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Are you in any pain?”

 

“No.” Sam closed her eyes, “I feel okay.”

 

Janet gave the closed eyes a small sad smile, “Okay… Sam?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“From your cuts and bruises it looks like you were in a fight.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And what is the wound on your arm?” she touched the re-bandaged area lightly.

 

“Arrow.”

 

Janet’s eyes narrowed and Sam opened her eyes again at the silence,

 

“He… they pulled it out… falling off the horse hurt more.” she lied.

 

Janet released the breath she was holding in a heavy sigh.

 

“I’m okay…” Sam tried to sound reassuring, but her speech was starting to slur, “I’m just really tired.”

 

“Sam,” Janet squeezed her hand, trying to keep her awake just a few moments longer, “I need to know one more thing then I’ll let you sleep for a while, okay?”

 

“’Kay.”

 

“Sam,” she leaned close and asked in a low voice, “were you… did anyone… did anyone _touch_ you?”  Before the anesthesiologist woke Sam, Janet performed the rape kit under a discretely draped sheet.  There was no genital bruising, tearing or evidence of fluids present but she was required to ask.

 

“No.” Sam closed pained eyes, “I wasn’t raped.”

 

~

 

Jack and Teal’c sat quietly while Daniel babbled endlessly about the mission to Simarka.  While he spoke, Daniel became acutely aware that he was not so much reporting on their mission as he was providing rationalizations and justifications for everything he said and did during the previous forty-eight hours.  His face began to color, realizing he was making an ass of himself but seemed unable to stop from blathering on and on,

 

“And… so… uh,” he reached for the small canvas sack on the chair next to him and placed it on the table, “I’ve labeled the samples, b-b-b-but this is just a small, representative amount of some of the drugs they use and would like t-t-to trade….” He cleared his throat, an awkward moment passing before he added, as an afterthought, “So that’s it.”

 

Jack, who sat next to the ever silent and stoic Jaffa, quirked his eyebrows at the younger man, “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

Gen. Hammond blinked rapidly several times and appeared to give a small shake as if to wake himself, “Well… thank you, Doctor Jackson fo…” There was a knock on the door and the general turned in his seat, “Come.”

 

Janet entered; she had shed her labcoat and pulled on her navy blue uniform sweater, her captain’s bars shining in bright contrast on her shoulders,

 

“Doctor?” the older man turned to her, “How is Captain Carter?”

 

“She’s in Recovery, I’ve scheduled an MRI to check for fractures and internal injuries beyond the obviously broken ribs…” as she spoke, she noted Dr. Jackson and Col. O’Neill seemed unable to look her in the eye.  She gave a long list of Sam’s injuries then added, “She said she was in a fight but she was unable to give me any details,” she addressed the general, “I was hoping to find out so I know what I’m dealing with.”

 

The general motioned for her to take a seat then turned to Jack, “Well?”

 

Jack stared down at the blank report forms he needed to fill out for the mission; just as he opened his mouth, Teal’c began speaking.  He recounted their offworld mission in a clipped, precise manner, starting with their emergence through the stargate and ending with him dressing Sam’s wounds, deciding it was up to O’Neill and Daniel Jackson to retell the events of their walk back to the gate.  His rendering was without judgment, but he observed how Doctor Fraiser’s lips pressed together in a thin line and General Hammond’s eyes slowly grew wide in disbelief, his brows knitting together in a scowl. He finished and fell silent once again, his hands still folded quietly on the table.

 

Janet drew a deep breath as she stood, “Thank you, Teal’c that was very helpful.” She pushed the chair back under the table and stared down at the backrest she gripped with both hands, “There did not appear to be any signs of sexual molestation but I need to know if… if anything of that nature… happened to Captain Carter.”

 

The silence hung in the room for a long, terrible moment before Jack finally shook his head; “She never said anything to us…” he shrugged and then looked to Teal’c who also shook his head in the negative.

 

Daniel stared down at the table, “No.” he mumbled, barely audible.

 

Janet nodded and patted the chair cushion with her hands, “Okay, then…” she turned to the general, “thank you, sir.” and left.

 

Gen. Hammond leaned back in his chair, “Alright, let’s start this again, Colonel, from the beginning…”

 

~

 

Janet returned to the infirmary and checked on Sam, spending a few minutes watching the slow rise and fall of her breath as she slept.  A nurse called to her softly, letting her know the MRI technician delivered Sam’s films.

 

She hurried to her office, anxious to discover if Sam had suffered any internal injuries her examination had not revealed, but she could not find any evidence of internal bleeding or additional fractures and breathed a sigh of relief.  She plotted a recovery schedule for Sam in her head while she made the necessary notations in her chart. She would care for Sam at home, but she would have to spend at least one day in the infirmary and she sighed in resignation, knowing how much Sam hated being confined to a hospital bed, although she suspected she would spend most of the time asleep.

 

~

 

Jack was unable to look the general in the eye during his own report of the mission, and inhaled noisily through his nose and exhaled just as audibly when he finished. General Hammond’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared,

 

“It seems you have experienced a breakdown in your understanding and application of how a team works, Colonel.” The general rose from the table, forcing Jack to stand too, “I suggest you include how you’re going to rectify that in your report.” As he left the room he added, “I want your reports on my desk in an hour.”

 

A long, uncomfortable moment passed in silence before the colonel sat back down in his chair and cleared his throat, “Look, she’ll be okay… she’ll bounce right ba…”

 

“You’re such an asshole, Jack.” Daniel muttered.

 

Jack instantly bristled, “You know what… _Daniel_ …”

 

He held up a hand to stop him, “And I’m an asshole too.” Daniel shrugged and began writing his mission report.

 

“Hey! She had to know what she was signing up for in this man’s army when she joined…” he caught Teal’c’s raised eyebrow in silent inquiry and his voice abruptly faded.  He glared down at the report he was supposed to be writing and tapped his pen agitatedly on the forms,

_  
“If the demons are gone,” Teal’c had asked, “why have not the laws been changed?_

_  
Moughal shrugged, “Some say they will return. I think it is an excuse for my men to have their way. Among the Shavadai, even the lowliest man is chief among his women.”_

 

He drew a deep breath and stared at the far wall, trying to clear his mind… trying to gather his thoughts for the task at hand,

 

 _“I would think you’d at least be as happy as that time on P3X-595_ _when you drank that stuff that made you…”_

 

Jack stared down at the pen he twirled in his fingers, remembering his and Kawalsky’s behavior when he first met Carter.   Initially resentful his team had been chosen for him, his annoyance only escalated when it became clear how smart Carter was. He sat silently at the table while his teammates wrote their reports; unable to stop the memory of his adolescently competitive behavior, how both he and Kawalsky addressed her, the utter disdain that dripped from their voices.  Jack closed his eyes briefly, trying and failing to avoid remembering the “naked” reference Ferretti made,

  
_“For those of you on your first trip through the gate; you should be prepared for what to expect...”_

_  
“I've practically memorized your report from the first mission, sir. I'd like to think I've been preparing for this my whole life.”_

_  
“I think what the Colonel is saying is,” Kawalsky had snidely remarked, “have you ever pulled out of a bombing run in an F-18 at 8-plus G's?_

_  
“Yes.” Carter answered him._

_“Well,” Kawalsky fumbled, “its_ way _worse than that.”_

 

Jack shook his head, wishing just as fervently as he did that day that Kawalsky had kept his big mouth shut. Then Ferretti just _had_ to make that crack _,_

 

_“By the time you get to the other side, you're frozen stiff, like you've just been through a blizzard, naked…”_

_Jack and Kawalsky had grinned at each other, but Carter was unfazed,_

_“That's a result of the compression your molecules undergo during the millisecond required for reconstitution.”_

_  
Jack rolled his eyes expressively, “Oh, here we go; another scientist… General, please…”_

_  
“Theoretical astrophysicist….” Sam corrected him._

_  
“Which means?”_

_  
The general was clearly annoyed with the snotty attitudes of his personnel and cut them off with, “Which means she’s smarter than you are, Colonel. Especially in matters related to the stargate.”_

__  
“Colonel,’ Sam had tried to settle the issue so they could move on, “I studied the gate technology for two years before Doctor Jackson made it work and before you both went through…. I should have gone through then, so… sir, you and your men might as well accept the fact that I’ll be going through this time.”  
  


_“Well, with all due respect, Doctor, I…”_

_  
“It is appropriate to refer to a person by their rank, not their salutation. You should call me ‘Captain’, not ‘Doctor’.”_

_  
Gen. Hammond had come close to losing his temper; “Captain Carter's assignment to this unit is not an option, Colonel, it's an order.”_

_  
“I'm an Air Force officer just like you are, Colonel, and just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside; it doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can.”_

_  
Jack had smiled sarcastically, “Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman, I like women; I just have a little problem with scientists.”_

_  
“Colonel, I logged over two hundred hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War, is that tough enough for you? Or are we going to have to arm wrestle?”_

 

Later the general had called Jack into his office and reviewed her impressive combat record with him, reading aloud her wounds and medals received and how, even injured, she had been able to safely land her disabled single-seater F-18 on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

 

 _When he finished he more or less ordered me to cram my attitude,_ Jack pursed his lips, remembering how the general’s simple words put him so succinctly in his place,

 

_“She deserves your respect, Colonel… you’re not the only hero in this Air Force.”_

 

He would never admit it, even privately, but that is what stung the most; that Carter’s Gulf War record was longer and more impressive than his, _Wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t got shot down and…_ he silently shook his head again, ashamed of the internal dialogue he was having with himself,

 

“Yeah,” Jack sighed heavily, making Daniel and Teal’c look up at him from their reports, “I am an asshole.”

 

~

 

It was the end of her shift and Janet was signing off on her patient charts.  She was going to stay on base in her quarters as long as Sam was in the infirmary and she tiredly slid the last chart back into its slot in the chart bin,

 

“I’m going to my quarters for the night,” she murmured to the nurse standing next to her, “call me if you need me….” The woman nodded and gave her a slight nudge, motioning to another nurse across the room who was trying to get Janet’s attention.

 

She crossed the room and the nurse first held a finger to her lips then pointed to Sam’s bed. Janet could hear soft whimpers coming from behind the privacy curtain and quickly slipped inside.  Sam appeared to be in the throes of nightmare and Janet hurriedly stroked her face, trying to rouse her as gently as possible,

 

“Sam…” She called to her quietly, “Sam?”

 

Janet was intimately familiar with Sam’s nightmares; since she and the blond captain started sleeping together, she discovered early on that Sam struggled off and on with post-traumatic stress.  She was a brilliant scientist, but she was also a fighter pilot and a soldier.  She had seen comrades die and killed enemies up close and personal, and while she was the consummate military professional; Janet had seen firsthand how the guilt, fear and pain would catch up with her and leave her shaking and tearful in the middle of the night.

 

 “Sam?” she continued to call to her softly, wishing they were in her bed at home so she could hold her close when she woke, “Sam, wake up… it’s alright…”

 

Sam gave a small jerk under her hand and gasped, her eyes opening wide in fear. Panting quietly she blinked, trying to force her eyes to bring Janet’s face into focus and licked her lips, “Hey…” she croaked.

 

“Hey,” Janet smiled reassuringly, “you okay?”

 

“Bad headache…” she husked, frowning and closing her eyes, “thirsty.”

 

“Okay, just a headache?”

 

“Everything hurts.” Sam admitted from behind closed lids.

 

“Okay,” Janet soothed, “first things first, be right back.” she murmured and ducked out for a moment, returning with a loaded syringe, “This will help with the pain,” she said while injecting the medication into a port on Sam’s IV line.  When she finished she retrieved the waiting glass of water on the overbed table and held the straw to Sam’s lips, “Not too fast, Sam, just enough to wet your whistle, alright?”

 

Sam sipped obediently; drinking only a small amount before she sank onto the small hand that supported the back of her head, “Thanks.” she croaked and cleared her throat.

 

“You bet…” Janet returned the glass to the table and gently clasped Sam’s elbow, just below the bandage on her bicep, “You know,” she said, her tone quietly conversational, “I removed what looked like a poultice from your arrow wound and sent it to the lab for analysis, I’m guessing it’s some sort of herbal preparation with antibacterial properties….”

 

Sam nodded, “Yeah…”

 

Janet’s eyes narrowed briefly, “I did clean and debrade the area, but it looks like it’s healing well, no sign of infection.” she hesitated for a moment before asking, “Can you tell me how it was removed?”

 

_Her hands bound in front of her, the guard threw her facedown in the tent and Turghan watched as the women attended to her arm,_

_“NO!” he rushed forward, shoving one woman away, “Give her only medicine to prevent infection; she may have nothing for the pain.”  He smiled malevolently and gripping the arrow shaft, yanked it from Sam’s arm, making her cry out._

_“I do not understand what will make you learn.” he muttered in disgust and threw the shaft into the fire.  The women cautiously approached Sam again and carefully cleaned the injury, placing what looked like a paste made from crushed flowers or herbs on the jagged wound before wrapping her bicep in a clean rag._

_A guard entered the tent and handed Turghan the knife she had stolen and he turned to her, “What kind of woman are you? Do you respect nothing? Care for no one but yourself?” He looked almost wonderingly at the women standing around him. “These were responsible for you, now because of you, they will be punished.”_

_  
“No!” Sam had cried, “It was my fault…. if you need to beat a woman to feel like a man, try me.”_

_  
Turghan yanked off the headdress and grabbing her hair, jerked her head back, “I value spirit in my horses, not in my women.” he sneered and then hungrily plundered her mouth._

_Sam clenched her teeth tightly together and struggled to wrench free, “You belong to me!” he hissed in her ear and violently threw her from him, “You will learn your place and be obedient or you will suffer far worse than a beating.”  He viciously backhanded her, splitting her lip open again then stalked to the woodpile and grabbing thick branch, beat her with it until his rage was spent._

 

Janet pressed her lips together firmly and breathed slowly through her nose, her fingers never stopping their gentle caress of Sam’s hair.

 

“Then he whispered in my ear he was going to tie me like a pig and fuck me after dinner.” She sniffed quietly and drew a small, shuddering breath, “But the guys showed up…” her words had begun to slur and she sluggishly cleared her throat, “so that never… happened.... When I heard them coming I grabbed a stick from the fire and jammed it under the… canvas so Nya could escape…” Her eyes closed and her voice faded, “I’ve never come so close… so close… to being…” Sam finally drifted off.

 

Janet smoothed the blond bangs back from her forehead and placed a soft kiss against her temple, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered, the waver distinct in her voice, “rest now, then come back to me.”

 

~

 

When Sam awoke the following morning she was in pain but still ravenous.

 

“Ready for some breakfast?” Janet smiled down at her, her fingers pressed lightly over the pulse in Sam’s wrist.

 

“Yeah,” Sam grunted, her lips pressing together.

 

“Everything still hurt?”

 

“Yeah,” Sam husked quietly, “But I still wanna’ big breakfast… I wasn’t allowed to eat while I was being… held, water only.” Janet raised her eyebrows at her and she shrugged, “It’s a common way to soften a person up.”

 

Janet’s eyebrows arched even higher on her forehead, “You didn’t eat anything for twenty-four hours and still managed to fight that guy?”

 

Sam snorted self deprecatingly, “He walked away from that fight looking pretty good, actually… I was lucky,” she added, “it could have been a lot worse…” and abruptly stopped herself when she remembered the fight was supposed to be to the death and she could have very easily ended up that way.

 

Janet frowned and squeezed the hand briefly, “Okay,” she made a notation in Sam’s chart and pulled the preloaded syringe from the pocket of her labcoat, “I’m going to give you a lighter load of the pain meds so you can stay awake long enough to enjoy your breakfast, then we’ll see how you’re doing…”

 

“How about you give me half of that so I can go home today?”

 

Janet pursed her lips together as she emptied the syringe into the port in Sam’s IV line, “Uh… how about, _no_?”

 

Sam’s eyes closed and she snorted softly, “I gave it a shot…”

 

“Nice try, but no cigar…”

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“And we’ll go home after your shift…”

 

“Sam…”

 

“I’ll be better by then, I swear.”

 

“Oy…” Janet sighed and placed a quick kiss against Sam’s lips, effectively stopping her from saying anything else.

 

~

 

Sam slept most of the day, realizing during her nurse-assisted trips to the bathroom that she really wasn’t in good enough shape to go home without being a huge burden on unsteady feet. When Janet placed the two dinner trays on her overbed table Sam sighed heavily, reaching for her lover’s hand,

 

“I’m not gonna’ make it home tonight.”

 

“I didn’t think you would, you know.” Janet murmured and placed soft lips briefly against Sam’s, “You’re in pretty rough shape.”

 

“Yeah...” Sam sighed heavily again.

 

The corner of Janet’s mouth quirked, she tucked blond locks behind a delicate ear and whispered, “How about a sponge bath after dinner?”

 

~

 

Janet tiredly stepped out of her heels as soon as she shut the door to her quarters behind her.  She kicked them under the small dining table and just as quickly shed her clothes, walking into the bathroom to prepare for bed.  She performed the routine unconsciously, preoccupied with thoughts of Sam.  She had only dated the taller woman of equal rank for a short time and although she had initially agreed to take it slow, the two spent all their free time together.  Even their agreement not to move in together seemed ridiculous; they both kept clothes in each other’s homes, having decided early on to spend their precious time together in alternate houses so both would stay clean and stocked with at least the basic essentials in food.  Although it had become clear that Sam preferred to spend most of her time with Janet in bed.

 

Janet clicked off the bathroom light and looked somewhat forlornly at her empty bed before turning off the bedside lamp and slipping beneath the covers.  _For chrissakes, you’re in love with her…_ she scolded silently, _just admit it already and decide what you’re gonna’ do about it._ She believed Sam was in love with her too, but she knew the concern Sam carried about the dangers her job held, her last mission being a perfect example. They had a lot to talk about once she got Sam home. _It’s going to be then or never,_ Janet suddenly decided, _I know she’s afraid… and to be honest, I am too.  But all I want is her… to be with her…._

 

Janet inhaled deeply and turned onto her side; as a doctor in the military, she knew the heartache of losing the battle in trying to save a patient, but she believed she had come to terms with the big issues life and death. As one of her professors in medical school once told her, _most days you restore life and cheat death and some days no matter how hard you try you just can’t…._   

 

But if Sam was taken from her, she honestly didn’t know if that was something she could handle. She closed her eyes and rubbed her face stubbornly against the pillow, trying to get comfortable.  _I don’t care,_ she argued silently; _I love her, so shut up already and go to sleep…._  

 

Janet had begun to notice it took her longer and longer to fall asleep when Sam was away on a mission and she was alone in bed, and unconsciously, her mind floated from memories to fantasies of being with Sam.  Without her awareness, her hands smoothed over her breasts, squeezing and massaging the flesh, her thumbs and fingers pinching and twisting her nipples, images of Sam’s strong hands performing the same ministrations filling her mind’s eye.  Her breath quickened as her nipples stiffened into hard peaks and her breasts grew taut.  Several minutes passed this way until her right hand finally slid down her abdomen, gripping and massaging her mound as memories of their lovemaking crowded each other for her attention.

 

Janet turned her face into the pillow and moaned softly.  Early on, she had dated both men and women and quickly came to the realization that she really wanted only to touch and be touched by women.  But it wasn’t until she made love to Sam that she realized no other woman could move her the way Samantha Carter could. The first time Sam slid her hot flesh against Janet’s, the feel of Sam’s hot, liquid center suddenly sliding along her skin… the feel of Sam’s fingers entering her…. The sounds that escaped her throat as she arched in the bed while Sam undulated on the small thigh she had captured between her own… the grunts, groans and whimpers that Sam made….  Of their own accord, two of Janet’s fingers slid into a pool of liquid fire and she moaned aloud into the pillow as her thumb stroked her rigid clitoris.

 

It was the memory of Sam’s pumping fingers and the insistent thumb on her clit that pushed her over the edge and Janet rolled onto her hand beneath the covers.  Small cries were lost in the pillow as she bucked and convulsed on her hand, the orgasm shaking her to her core as she utterly surrendered to it.  No other woman had ever loved her so completely; no other woman had the power to make her feel this way on memory alone.

 

Breathing heavily, Janet eventually rolled onto her side again; her eyes open in the dark in wonder.  Until she met Sam she rarely masturbated, but it had quickly become a coping mechanism whenever Sam was away and Janet sighed heavily as she pulled the fingers from her center.  Sexually, Sam had freed her on many levels; afraid of ejaculating with previous lovers, Janet was at first shocked, then relieved and then delighted when Sam hungrily devoured the small squirts of hot ejaculate that burst from her, greedily gulping and slurping at the nectar with great enthusiasm.  Sam’s high libido had overwhelmed Janet in the beginning, but Sam had quickly made her at ease with that too, coaxing from her the positions she had always wanted to try but was too embarrassed to ask.  Janet’s eyes closed and her face flushed in the darkness when she remembered how Sam introduced her to anal sex and how hard she climaxed, screaming in ecstasy at the new, overwhelming sensations.

 

Janet sucked thoughtfully on the fingers she had thrust inside herself.  Sam’s worship of her cum made Janet appreciative of not just Sam’s cum but her own as well, and she scooped at the wet between her legs again, drawing more of the drying sweetness onto her fingers before sucking them into her mouth. Her eyes closed in the darkness at the flavor; memories of Sam’s essence filling her, making her sigh once again, wishing she could have Sam’s cum on her fingers, wishing Sam was in her bed….

 

A _ll in good time,_ she reassured herself as she finally drifted off, _all in good time…._

 

~

 

In all, Sam spent three days and nights sleeping in the infirmary while her body struggled to recover from the fight and beatings she endured.  Nightmares of Simarka and past missions haunted her and she endeavored to hide them from the staff; especially at night, knowing they would call Janet in her quarters.  By the second day, she struggled to and from the bathroom on her own; she did not doubt Janet’s ability to care for her at home, but she was determined not to be a burden and gritted her teeth each time she pushed her aching body from the bed and struggled into the white terrycloth robe.

 

She lay limply on the hospital bed, a soft sigh escaping her at the feel of Janet’s hand, wrapped in a warm washcloth as she smoothed over her skin in slow gentle circles, wiping away the soap.  The deep bruises that covered Sam’s body had finally begun to heal, and even though the dark contusions were turning a variety of alarmingly vivid colors, the doctor in Janet still sighed in relief,

 

“You know,” Janet grinned down at her, “today is my Friday, and I get the next four days off in return for all the overtime I put in this past week.”

 

“Because of me.” Sam mumbled.

 

Janet’s head cocked to one side, “Yes,” she scolded, “If you’ve been hurt there’s no way I’m going to sit around on my ass at home, Sam,” with one hand she pulled the sheet up to Sam’s chin while the other pulled free the hospital gown she had left discretely draped over Sam’s breasts, “for heaven’s sake…”

 

Sam opened her mouth to speak then shut it again for a moment, unsure how to respond, “I’m sorry…” she stammered, “I meant…”

 

Janet grabbed a fresh gown and turned back to her, grinning, “Its okay, my point is that I’m gonna’ take you home for four days at the end of my shift tonight… if that’s okay with you?”

 

A huge smile spread across Sam’s features, “Absolutely.”

 

~

 

To Sam’s horror, Janet insisted Sam ride in a wheelchair to the base entrance where an SF waited with Janet’s car,

 

“I really don’t _ever_ want to do that again,” Sam grumbled as she clicked the seatbelt into place.

 

Janet snorted as she started the car, “Doctor’s orders.” she repeated, then caught Sam’s chin in her thumb and forefinger and planted hungry lips against her mouth. Her tongue briefly swept hotly inside, catching the taller woman by surprise, “I was just trying to conserve your energy for the lovemaking session I know you want to have as soon as we get home.”

 

“Uh…” Sam’s eyes were dark with sudden desire but she still looked somewhat blankly at her, “really?” she asked dumbly, her face slowly lighting as Janet’s words sank in.

 

~

 

Janet drove them to Sam’s house since hers was a single story structure and Janet had worried climbing the stairs in her own house would tire Sam unnecessarily.  Sam held her hand shyly as she walked to the front door and after unlocking it she pushed the door open and stepped aside to let Janet enter first.  Smiling, Janet entered and pulled her inside, shutting and locking the door after her,

 

“Ready for bed?” Janet asked as she pulled Sam down the hallway and into her bedroom.

 

“Yes, ma’am….” Sam grinned crookedly.

 

Janet made quick work of shedding her uniform and undergarments, leaving them in a heap on the floor then added Sam’s clothes to the pile as she helped her undress.  When both women were nude Sam pulled Janet close, her bruised and bandaged arm wrapped securely around her.  The fingers of her free hand were gentle but insistent as she held the petite woman’s lips pressed firmly against her own.

 

“Sammph…” Janet smiled against her mouth, but Sam refused to release her, “Mmph… baby, please….” She finally placed both hands on Sam’s face and chuckled as she pushed Sam’s mouth from her, “Hang on a sec, do you want eat something for dinner first? I can bring it in here and we can...”

 

Sam buried her nose in Janet’s hair and hummed contentedly, “Mmmno… I’m not hungry,” she husked, “I’m not hungry for anything but you…” and kissed her again, her mouth sliding down Janet’s neck and fixing on her breast.

 

Janet pulled Sam’s mouth against her, moaning softly; she was desperate for Sam to talk to her about the incident offworld, “Sam…” she moaned breathlessly, “Sam…” she begged, needing her to stop if they were going to talk about the abduction and assault, _and the fact that I’m in… I’m…_

 

Sam’s hand slid to her mound, massaging it firmly and making Janet moan aloud, _Okay,_ she thought dizzily, _maybe I’m not_ that _desperate._

 

Sam nudged Janet backwards while she fed on the taut breast, backing her towards the bed.  When the backs of Janet’s knees impacted with the mattress Sam released the hardened nipple and planted her mouth hotly over Janet’s, sucking wantonly on her tongue. “Sit…” she rasped. Finally releasing her mound, she pushed the smaller woman onto the bed and knelt between her legs.  Her lips and tongue rushed to Janet’s burning, dripping center, her arms wrapping around slim thighs, forcing Janet to place a hand behind her on the mattress for support.

 

“Oh, god…” Janet groaned her other hand pressing against the back of Sam’s head.

 

“Nothing matters…” Sam murmured into her flesh, “nothing matters but this…” and fed on the sweet nectar.  She gulped and slurped, drawing Janet’s essence from the depths of her body.  As Janet’s moans and cries increased, Sam released one trembling thigh and slid two fingers inside hot and slick undulating depths.  The pads of her fingers stroked the g-spot, milking Janet of her cum, and she grunted in carnal pleasure at the increased nectar as it poured into her frantically devouring mouth.

 

Her hips bucked forcefully against Sam’s face, and Janet strained to watch the bobbing blond head until she could stand it no more and she flew back onto the mattress, crying out as her body rigidly convulsed and hot ejaculate exploded in Sam’s mouth.

 

Sam moaned in ecstasy as the hot cum filled her.  She had never been with a woman who could ejaculate like Janet.  She had never been with a woman who could make her feel so loved… so strong, so connected…. She felt like she knew who she was… as if she was fully in the world whenever Janet so much as looked at her and her heart filled to bursting each time she held the smaller woman in her arms.

 

She savored the lightly sweet taste, suckling the tender inner walls, folds and clit clean of cum for long minutes until she realized Janet was close to another orgasm. She smiled into the folds and slid a finger inside, quickly adding another as Janet’s sighs and whimpers grew into keening cries of building passion while Sam pumped her fingers and fed on the rigid, quivering flesh.  Her eyes closed in ecstatic contentment when she felt Janet’s body stiffen once again and a strangled cry tear from her throat.

 

“This… this is all I need…,” she moaned hoarsely into Janet’s center, her quiet voice breaking, “all I need… all I need is you.”

 

~

 

Both women dozed lightly, Janet tucked snugly along Sam’s side. She turned to look at the clock on her bedside table and turned back, carefully draping an arm across Sam’s midsection,

 

“Sam, are you awake?”

 

“More or less,” Sam mumbled, making Janet snicker softly, “Hungry?”

 

“Yeah, why don’t you stretch out on the couch while I call for some take out?”

 

“Okay,” Sam sighed and rolled onto her side, “Then I guess we have to put some clothes on…”

 

“Yeah,” Janet snickered, “giving the delivery boy a heart attack would be bad.”

 

“How about that pasta place?” Sam asked then fixed her mouth over Janet’s, kissing her thoroughly.

 

~

 

Sam ate her dinner with gusto, moaning ecstatically over the rigatoni, salad and garlic bread.  In good spirits, she hinted broadly that a beer would have complimented the meal very nicely, eliciting a deadpan stare and a, “uh huh” from Janet, making Sam laugh.

 

Janet finally grinned and took another bite of the garlic bread.  She chewed thoughtfully for a minute before plunging in, “Sam,” she dove head first, “I don’t know how else to bring this up, so I’m just going to say it.”

 

Sam wiped briefly at her lips with her napkin, “Okay…”

 

“I know we agreed to go slow, and I’m not trying to rush things, but I know you’re afraid of… you’re concerned that… about what you do for a living… and that these offworld missions could…” she expelled an exasperated breath.

 

“Could get me killed?” Sam added helpfully.

 

“Yeah,” Janet nodded softly, “I know it’s an issue that weighs heavily on you and I…” she shrugged helplessly, “I just want you to know I’m not afraid of being in… in a relationship with you, Sam and I’m…” _Oh, for chrissakes just say it! You’re not going to scare her off, just tell her…_

 

“Good,” Sam gave her a wide smile and pulled her in for a wet, rigatoni kiss, “cuz’ I’m not afraid of being in a relationship with you either.”

 

Janet lost herself in deep, sincere blue as Sam leaned in to capture her lips once again. They kissed for another long minute before Sam pulled back,

 

“Is dinner over?”

 

“If it is,” Janet breathed; her face flushed, “we need to clear the table.”

 

“Like they do in the movies?” Sam murmured silkily.

 

Janet snorted softly, “If you mean by sweeping all the dishes onto the floor so you can make love to me on the table, then no, that’s too messy.”

 

“Okay.” Sam mumbled impishly against her mouth, kissing her again.

 

Sam helped clear the dishes and when she turned from putting leftovers in the fridge Janet was standing behind her with a glass of water in one hand and two tablets in the other,

 

“For the pain,” she stated simply, having taken quiet note of the tightness that had gathered in and around Sam’s eyes during dinner, “nothing too strong, although I may want to boost this a little by bedtime.”

 

Sam grinned, “You mean when it’s time to sleep….” she said suggestively, taking the glass and pills from her.

 

“Yes, Sam, ‘when it’s time to sleep’.” Janet conceded, loosely draping her arms around Sam’s waist while she took the pills and turned to discard the glass on the counter, “Want something for dessert?”

 

Sam slung her arms around the smaller woman, clasping her fingers together, “Oh, definitely,” she grinned lopsidedly and dipped her head for a kiss, “I definitely want something for dessert….”

 

Back in the bedroom Janet helped Sam undress once again, checking the gauze bandages as articles of clothing fell away,

 

“I’m fine.” Sam murmured as she helped pull off Janet’s t-shirt.

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

Janet stepped out of her sweat pants, leaving them on the floor as she walked to the bed, pulling Sam with her.  Wordless, she lay on the mattress and pulled Sam down on top of her.  Sam sighed audibly into Janet’s hair at the feel of smooth skin against her own and pressed close, careful to keep her weight balanced on an elbow. She nuzzled Janet’s face with her own, her explorations taking her down the length of the small, lithe form beneath her.  She kissed and laved her way down Janet’s delicate throat, suckling the hardened nipple; caressing, squeezing and tonguing the flushed, pliant flesh of Janet’s breasts, trying to fit as much of it in her mouth as…

 

 _“Uhn!”_ Sam cried out, pulling her mouth from Janet’s breast, _“Sorry!”_ she gasped, rolling off, onto her side, _“Oh, crap!”_

 

“Sam?”  Janet sat up, her flushed features flooding with concern, “Sam, what is it?” she asked fearfully, already knowing the answer.

 

“My ribs.” Sam grimaced, “I’m sorry, I want to be on top but my ribs can’t handle it yet.” She rolled onto her back, another gasp of pain breaking from her.

 

Janet stroked her face, “Easy now, are you better on your back or on your good… or, you know, your less-bad-side?”

 

Sam struggled to slow her breathing, “ _Uh_ … this is okay.” she panted, the heels of her hands pressing against her closed eyes.

 

“Back in a sec…” Janet mumbled as she slid from the bed, returning with more pain medication, “Let’s sit you up a little.” she murmured softly while gently pulling first one pillow under Sam’s head then another when she didn’t protest.  “Better?” she asked, sitting on the mattress next to her.

 

“Yeah,” Sam sighed, taking her hand, “God, I’m sorry…”

 

“Stop it; I’ll have you back on top of me before you know it.” Sam grinned and Janet reached for the pill and glass of water she brought from the bathroom, “I think we need to boost your pain meds a little though.” Sam took the pill without protest and Janet took the glass from her hand and placed it on the nightstand, “Want a massage for the cramping?”

 

“How about here?” Sam grasped Janet’s hands and pulled them to her breasts.

 

Smiling, Janet squeezed and massaged the flesh with strong hands and fingers, “Do you think you could turn on your side a little?”

 

Sam turned onto the side with no bandages and reached for Janet again, “Come here.” she husked. Janet cautiously crawled over the prone form and eased down next to her on the mattress.  Sam’s breath quickened at the feel of soft, neatly trimmed curls brushing against her skin and whispered harshly, “Kiss me.”

 

Wordless, Janet obeyed, opening her mouth to allow access for Sam’s insistent tongue.  While they kissed, Janet’s hand strayed again to a full breast, pinching and rolling the stiffened nipple while Sam’s hand slid down the smooth skin of Janet’s back and over a slim hip.  She could feel Janet lift her leg in obvious invitation and she obediently pulled the slim leg over the tops of her own and slid questing fingers into already engorged, dripping folds, making Janet moan in her mouth.

 

As Sam’s fingers worked between her folds, teasing and circling the clutching opening, Janet made soft whimpering noises and arched closer to the invading hand, straining to press her length as close as possible against Sam. 

 

“Let me, baby,” Janet begged, her hand releasing Sam’s breast and sliding down Sam’s abdomen and between her legs, “let me in, sweetheart… _oh godnuh… let me_ ….”

 

Soft grunting noises issued from the back of Sam’s throat as the smaller hand slid between her legs, between her folds.  They groaned aloud as fingers stroked rigid clits and folds in perfect cadence with each other.  Both women arched and undulated, their moans and cries becoming louder and more desperate,

 

 _“Oh, fuck me baby,”_ Janet moaned, _“let me fuck you, fuck you… oh god fuck my pussy…. Fuck my pussy… fuck… fuck me….”_

 

Sam fought the wave of near delirious pleasure as it washed over her. She had never made love to a woman who could make her so wet and so aroused by uttering such erotic profanity.  She could only groan in response, straining to rub her thumb more forcefully against Janet’s rock-hard clit.

 

 _“Oh my god…”_ Janet panted, “I’m coming, Sam… _I’m coming sweetheart… uhn!”_ Janet slammed her small form against Sam’s, her cries lost in the loud, desperate moans of Sam’s climax.  Their fingers pumped, rubbed and thrust while their bodies shook and convulsed.  Their faces pressed close together they shouted and groaned and whimpered for long minutes, and although their stroking fingers had slowed they seemed unwilling to stop their ministrations completely and small quakes and shudders continued to rack both women’s bodies.

 

They stayed close, emitting soft cries as they eased down.  Janet sighed aloud and pressed her mouth softly against Sam’s, “Oh, thank you…” she sighed.

 

“I love you.” Sam murmured.

 

Janet opened her eyes into dark blue and smiled, “I know,” she murmured back, “you know I love you too, sweetheart.”

 

She nuzzled Janet’s face with her nose and lips, making small sounds of contentment in the back of her throat.  Janet sighed and lay still for several minutes before pulling her fingers from Sam’s depths.  Gently, Janet slid her hand between them, sniffing the fingers briefly before drawing the digits in her mouth, and smiled around the fingers; Sam had fallen asleep.

 

Janet sucked her fingers clean then reached between her legs and gently pulled Sam’s fingers from her center, keeping her lips pressed together to keep from whimpering aloud.  She arranged them for sleep and keeping Sam close, drifted off, the smile still on her face.

 

~

 

“Sam?’

 

_She screamed and struggled against the bonds but the grip on her hips was viselike as he maniacally rammed his stiff member inside her from behind._

 

“Sam?”

 

_“Now grunt like a pig,” he growled, “I SAID GRUNT LIKE A PIG!”_

 

“Sam?”

 

Sam came awake with a cry, gasping desperately.

 

“Shh, easy, Sam…” Janet hurried to stroke her face, “easy now… you’re home, sweetheart, you’re safe...” Janet continued to murmur words of comfort while Sam struggled to calm the harsh breathing.  Cautiously, she pulled Sam close, waiting for the deep tremors that shook Sam’s body to subside.

 

She stayed in the protective circle of Janet’s arms for long minutes before heaving a deep sigh, “Sorry.” she sniffed loudly and rolled onto her back, “bad dream.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” Janet stroked her arm, “bad dreams happen in your line of work.”  Sam didn’t say anything so she tried a more direct approach, “Can you tell me about it?”

 

Sam’s eyes closed in the dark, “Oh, it was just about stuff that never happened.” She sniffed, “Like what would have happened had the guys not gotten there when they did and he got to… to do what he promised…”

 

“Rape you.”

 

“Yeah,” Sam exhaled noisily and sniffed again, “that.”

 

“But he didn’t.” Janet asked more than stated.

 

“But he didn’t.” Sam rubbed her eyes and finally turned back to Janet, “I just don’t understand.” she whispered softly, “That whole mission… all these missions, actually…” She ran a hand through short blond hair; “I thought we were supposed to be a team, Teal’c’s been fine… but Daniel and the colonel…” she shrugged in the darkness, “I watch their backs, why didn’t they watch mine?’

 

Janet pulled her back into her arms and placed a kiss against her hair, unsure what to say.  She held her quietly for several minutes, listening as Sam’s breath became more relaxed and the inhalations longer and more even.  Eventually she drifted off, still pressed close, Sam tucked under her chin.

 

~

 

It was late and Sam watched Janet sleep.  From the very beginning, she had promised Janet she would go slow, joking that she did not want to fulfill the age-old cliché by immediately renting a U-Haul and moving in, but from the very beginning, she had fallen hopelessly in love with Janet Fraiser and she longed to cement their relationship in marriage. Her nostrils flared in frustration and she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.  But what if marrying Janet was just a selfish desire on her part, given the high risk factor of her chosen occupation? She loved Janet but was it fair to ask…. _What if I wasn’t in the Stargate program anymore?_ she wondered, _I could go back to research again and not have to worry about turning her into a widow the second I married her._

 

Janet stirred slightly and Sam rolled onto her side again. Careful not to wake her, she brushed away a few strands of hair that had strayed onto Janet’s cheek, _As long as I had her I could be happy anywhere…”_ She sighed, a soft smile tugging at her lips; _she is so beautiful…_ and stopped herself from humming aloud. _Why stay at Cheyenne Mountain if I’m not wanted there?_

 

~

 

Sam and Janet’s relationship was no secret to anyone at the base and Daniel first drove to Janet’s house, looking for Sam.  When no one answered he drove to Sam’s and stood nervously at the door, his hand poised briefly in mid-air before knocking purposefully on the polished wood. Sam answered, looking surprised while Daniel stammered,

 

“Hey, Sam… uh,” he motioned awkwardly, “Can I… Can I come in for a second?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” she nodded and opened the door wider, allowing him to step inside.  She stepped back and Daniel closed the door behind him and stood apprehensively in the hallway. “Want to come in and have a seat?” she motioned towards the living room but he shook his head,

 

“No… no, thanks, I…” he sucked air into his lungs, “I need to say something first…”

 

Sam held her hands low in front of her, her fingers interlaced and Daniel could see the bandaged wrists where the long sleeves of her pullover failed to cover them. He blinked and raised his eyes to hers,

 

“I’ve… I’ve come to apologize for being such a jerk…” His eyes took in the healing split in Sam’s lip and the twin cuts on her neck and a strangled noise escaped him as he cleared his throat, “I…” he shook his head and sighed in exasperation at himself, “I can’t believe I acted the way I did.  I obviously _wasn’t_ thinking and I… well, I haven’t been thinking or been terribly considerate of you or your rank or your importance to this team, and I am…” he licked his lips, “I’m so, so sorry, Sam… uh… C-C-Captain Carter,” he nervously adjusted his glasses, “and I… I hope you can forgive me, and… and believe me when I say I will never, _ever_ disrespect you ever again.” His eyebrows, that seemed capable of movement independent of his speech, arched high on his forehead then came to rest just behind the top of his glasses.

Sam stood quietly while Daniel spoke and when he finished she continued to regard him silently. After a long and excruciating moment for Daniel, she heaved a sigh, “Okay.” she said simply, “Thank you… that means a lot to me.”

 

Daniel’s eyebrows crept back up his forehead, “Good… and so I’ll, uh…” he hooked his thumb over his shoulder at the door, “I’m gonna’ go, but… w-w-we’ll see you at the base? I mean, when we… when we… when you’re cleared for offworld…”

 

“I don’t know yet… we’ll see, alright?”

 

His eyebrows crept even higher on his forehead as he began inching towards the door, “Oh, okay… of course, sure…” He took great care not to trip over his own feet and opened the door, “Please know that I’m really looking forward to working with you… uh, t-t-to keep working with you...”

 

Sam gave him a small smile, “Okay… I’ll see you around.”  Daniel stepped out the door and started down the steps to the walkway, “Daniel?” she called to him,

 

“Yeah?” he turned back to her hopefully,

 

“You can call me Sam.”

 

“Okay.” he ducked his head shyly and turned back down the walk.

 

She closed the door and stood silently with her hand on the knob.

 

Janet had heard most of the exchange from the kitchen and came into the hallway.  She waited quietly for a minute before asking, “Want some privacy?”

 

Sam blinked and shook her head adamantly, “No… no… I just….” She drew a deep breath before turning to her, “I’ve been thinking about… about everything and I think I may have to transfer out of the stargate program,” while she spoke she locked the door then drew Janet into her arms and cupping her chin softly, tilted the face toward hers, “but I can’t lose you.” She licked her lips nervously and hurriedly continued, “I know I said I’d go slow…”

 

Beaming, Janet interrupted her, “If I resign my commission then we can both go wherever you get transferred to.”

 

“You’d give up your career for me?”

 

“Only in the Air Force, Sam, I can be a doctor pretty much anywhere.”

 

Sam gazed down at her, lost in her eyes and the warmth of the smaller, compact form pressed against her, “Janet…” she murmured, her voice suddenly raspy, “Janet, I…”

 

Janet gently traced Sam’s lips with her fingers, stopping her, “I love you, Sam.”

 

Sam’s eyes brimmed, “And I love you, Janet…”she breathed, relieved she had finally said the words aloud, “I love you so much.” Her eyes closed as she placed her mouth over Janet’s; “Oh, my god, I’ve waited so long to say it; I love you, I love, I love you…” she whispered the words between kisses, like a mantra, over and over, finally making Janet chuckle softly and pull back so she could look up into deep, dark blue,

 

“I love you, Sam, I have from the first…” her voice began to waver and she drew a deep breath, “from the moment I met you, I…”

 

Sam beamed at her, “I tried to go slow,” said earnestly, making Janet snicker softly, “I really did.  But I fell in love with you the very first time I woke up in the infirmary…” she smoothed back the dark hair with her hand, her thumb stroking the soft cheek, “there was something about your eyes…”

 

They kissed for long minutes; teasing, tasting, caressing and stroking until Sam finally pulled away and sniffed loudly, “I still don’t know what to do yet… all I really know for sure is that I need you.”

 

“You have some time to decide,” Janet gently admonished her, her doctor’s fingers gingerly palpating just under the split lip she had just thoroughly kissed, “remember you’re still on medical restriction, but, Sam, “she said, suddenly earnest and held the taller woman’s face in both hands, “whatever you decide, I love you and I’m not going anywhere without you.” Her smile turned beatific, “You’re not alone in this.” she pulled her down for a long sensual kiss before finally breathing into her mouth, “I’m here, Sam… I’m here….” she mumbled and pressed her mouth against Sam’s once again.

 

The kiss became increasingly heated as both women’s hands roamed over each other’s bodies, their groans growing louder and more insistent until Janet pulled her tongue from Sam’s mouth long enough to husk against her questing lips, “Take me to your bed, baby… please… please take me…  take me…”

 

~

 

They lay naked on the smooth sheet, Janet lying alongside and slightly on top of Sam, careful to avoid the bruises and bandages.  They traded soft kisses, their lips softly caressing each other, “Sam,” Janet asked between kisses, “Are you more comfortable on your back now?”

 

“Um hmm…” Sam gave her a lazy grin, feeling slightly drunk from the sensation of Janet’s heated skin burning against her own.

 

“Mmm,” Janet licked inside her mouth again, “Good.” she said simply and began kissing, licking and laving her way down Sam’s body, spending several minutes suckling Sam’s rock-hard nipples deeply in her mouth.

 

Sam sighed and groaned, spreading her legs when Janet rubbed her mound with her cheeks, lips and nose,

 

“Oh,” Janet whimpered, _“Oh, you smell so good…”_ and slipped between Sam’s spread legs, her tongue delving into slick, heated depths, spreading rigid wine-colored folds open with her thumbs.

 

Sam’s respiration increased until she panted wildly, her chest heaving.  Her hips bucked shamelessly against Janet’s mouth, thrusting against Janet’s tongue and both women moaned loudly as Sam quickly climaxed; her body rigid and shaking as she groaned and cried out.

 

She continued to pant and gasp for air while Janet licked her clean from perineum to clit, _“Oh, please…”_ she gasped, reaching for her, “please, Janet…” she tried not to grunt in pain as her bruised body rebelled when she pulled the small brunette to her, “Please, I need to taste you…”

 

Janet crawled back up the length of her and hotly planted her mouth over Sam’s, making her moan loudly as she sucked her taste from Janet’s tongue.

 

“I need to eat you…” Sam husked wantonly, _“I need to feed….”_

 

Janet made a whimpering noise as she tore her mouth free and carefully straddled her face, gripping the headboard in both hands.  Sam could see Janet was so wet the nectar had begun to run between her legs and wrapping her arms around the small hips and thighs, pulled Janet’s center firmly against her face.  Janet cried out at the assault of hungrily devouring lips and tongue and quickly found herself grinding her center against Sam with wild abandon.  Her hips thrust and bucked uncontrollably and Sam moaned loudly into her flesh, delirious at the taste and feel of creamy cum in her mouth and on her face as Janet rocked her length against her.  Tears squeezed from the corners of Janet’s tightly closed eyes and she threw her head back, a strangled cry tearing from her throat as she climaxed.  Her body trembled and jerked uncontrollably as jolts of burning hot cum exploded into Sam’s hungry mouth.  Demanding lips feasted wildly on Janet’s opening and she sucked at the steaming streams of sweetness, grunting noises of unrestrained joy escaping her as Janet’s ejaculate filled her mouth and she savored the lightly sweet flavor.

 

Sam held Janet firmly against her mouth for long minutes while Janet’s shouts and cries gradually transformed into sobs that shook her small form, her surrender complete. Sam’s eyes closed in utter contentment as she felt the rigid folds and the tender quivering tissues gradually soften beneath her tongue.  She hummed softly as she gently caressed the flesh with her mouth.  Long minutes passed until Janet shakily let go of the headboard and repositioned herself alongside Sam’s body, her tears dripping freely onto Sam’s face.  She placed a breathless kiss on her mouth and moaned as her tongue lapped within, tasting herself.  She licked lightly at the bruised lips, her tongue flicking over them, licking away her own essence. Her exploring caresses migrated over Sam’s cheeks and nose, her eyes closing at the salty taste of tears and cum.  Leaving her eyes closed, her tongue gently cleaned Sam’s eyelids and chin until Sam’s strong, gentle hands finally clasped the tearstained face, holding her so fathomless blue could look deeply into luminous brown,

 

 _“Thank you…”_ Sam sighed, her voice thick.

 

Janet’s chin trembled, _“Thank you, sweetheart, I love you so much.”_

 

Sam’s smile widened and her eyes shone, “And I love you…” she husked and pulled Janet down for another deep kiss.

 

Janet’s eyes closed again while her tongue thoroughly explored Sam’s mouth, sucking and entwining Sam’s tongue with her own.  As her efforts to devour Sam became more frantic she pulled away long enough to whisper hoarsely, _“I need you…”_ and pressed her opening against Sam’s hip, “I’m sorry,” she husked.

 

Sam grinned lopsidedly, “Never apologize for needing me.” she murmured, urging Janet onto her.

 

Janet made a choking, groaning noise and ground her engorged opening and folds onto Sam’s uninjured hip.  Sam’s vision began to blur, feeling Janet’s undulations slick her skin, “Please, Janet…” she panted, _“give me your knee…”_

 

Janet shifted her body, now grinding on Sam’s leg, until she could press her knee into Sam’s sodden center, letting her knee thrust into quivering folds and opening in cadence with her surging hips.

 

Janet pushed herself up on one elbow and pleaded, “Please, Sam,” she begged, _“look at me, baby…”_ she grunted.

 

Sam forced her eyes open and looked up into widely dilated pupils, _“Oh godnuh… Ja… Jahneh….”_ Sam’s head suddenly flew back onto the pillow as her body arched beneath Janet’s, lifting them both off the mattress.  She shouted her orgasm as the waves washed over her, making Janet climax in response.  Both women’s bodies shuddered and jerked against one another until Janet’s upper body collapsed and she slid off to one side, her legs still clutching Sam’s thigh, keeping her knee and center pressed into soaking wet.

 

Both lay boneless on the mattress, completely winded and Janet sniffed loudly as she struggled to slow her breathing, wiping distractedly at her tear-streaked face,

 

“Oh, my god,” Sam wheezed, “I do love a good wet hump.” making Janet chuckle tiredly. Several minutes passed in sublime afterglow when Janet realized the trembling in Sam’s body had changed and her breathless panting had become gasps of pain.

 

She propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at her with concern, “Hey,” she panted, “you okay?”

 

Sam grimaced and confessed through tightly clenched teeth, “I think I may have pulled something…”

 

~

 

Sam was extra tired and sore the next morning but insisted she was well enough to work in her lab, although she promised to report to the infirmary in time for lunch. She stood at her worktable, staring at but not seeing the curious alien instrument retrieved by SG2.  She scrubbed at her face with one hand, desperately wishing it was time for lunch when she heard someone loudly clearing his throat.

 

She opened her eyes, “Colonel?”

 

“Hey, Carter,” Col. O’Neill stood awkwardly in the doorway and took a couple of steps inside, “You were out for a few days there…” he jammed his hands in his pockets, “back on your feet are ya’?”

 

“Yes, sir,” she nodded, “Janet released me to light duty for a week….” She shrugged one-sidedly at her lab, “as long as its work in here.”

 

“Great… okay…” Jack began to falter, having clearly run out of innocuous things to say.  His gaze wandered around her lab and he pursed his lips for a long, uncomfortable moment until he finally blew out the breath he had been holding,

 

“Sir, do you want me on your team?” she asked quietly.

 

“Come on, Carter, you know I do…. You have already proven yourself in this man’s Air Force…” he looked down briefly at his feet, “you did that before you got here.” Raising his head, he looked at her directly, “We need you here, Captain… we need you out there, too.” He stepped over to her worktable and patted his hands distractedly on its surface, “You have to know we came after you as soon as we knew you were… gone.” Suddenly earnest, he blurted, “I would never leave you behind, Carter, I…”

 

She arched an eyebrow at him, “That’s been getting harder to believe on these missions, sir.”

 

Jack nodded, unable to look her in the eye again, “Yeah, I know…” he drew a breath and looked back, “Look, I have no excuse, I’ve been a real asshole… but no more, Carter, I swear.... I’m sorry.” A decidedly pregnant pause hung in the lab until finally his eyebrows arched high on his forehead, “So whaddaya’ say? Give us… give me one more chance?”

 

Sam was silent for a long moment while she considered his words, then, “Alright… but, sir, don’t humiliate or disrespect me like that ever again,” she said quietly, “or I will request an immediate transfer off this base.”

 

“I got it, Captain,” he looked her in the eye, “Never again.” He sighed loudly with relief, “Okay, so… When the doc says you’re fit for gate travel… you’ll be joining us?”

 

“Yes, sir,” she nodded, “I’ll be there.”

 

~

 

Sam was on her way out the door to meet Janet and nearly collided with Teal’c,

 

“Oh, jeez, Teal’c, I’m sorry.”

 

Teal’c dismissed the near miss with a bow Sam guessed was the Jaffa equivalent of a shrug, “Colonel O’Neill tells me you have recovered sufficiently to return to work in your lab,” his head tilted slightly to one side as regarded her for a moment before adding, “You appear much improved, Captain Carter.”

 

Sam nodded, “Thanks, I do feel better…” she motioned awkwardly toward the door, “I was just on my way to the infirmary… for an appointment.”

 

Teal’c nodded and stepped back into the hallway and together they walked side by side down the hall to the elevator. Keeping his eyes discretely averted he asked quietly, “Will you be rejoining SG1 when you have fully recovered?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be back, I don’t think it’ll be much longer.”  The elevator doors were open and she stepped inside and pressed the key for the infirmary level, “I’ll be back as soon as Janet deems me fit for active duty.”

 

He nodded, “And are you still angry with _‘the two white guys_?” he inquired, an eyebrow raised high.

 

Sam snorted in amusement, “No, Teal’c, not anymore.”

 

He gave her a formal bow, “That is good to hear…. I am looking forward to your return, Captain Carter.”

 

Sam’s grin widened, convinced she saw a glint of conspiratorial amusement in the Jaffa’s eyes as the doors slid shut.

 

~          ~

 

She sighed contentedly, inhaling Sam’s breath each time she exhaled.  Pressed cheek to nose, Janet pulled back just far enough to gaze sleepily at the delicate, blond eyelashes that fanned across the smooth planes of Sam’s cheekbones.  It was amazing, really, during the three days Sam was offworld; Janet had horrible nightmares every night of Sam being hurt, but now that she was home safe, the nightmares had magically vanished. The nightmares didn’t come as a surprise to Janet; the offworld mission Sam had just returned from had been her first since her capture and torture by the Goa’uld. 

 

Following SG1’s trip to Simarka, as soon as she had cleared Sam for active duty they traveled through the gate to conduct reconnaissance on what they thought were some renegade jaffa. But the recon mission had gone badly from the start; the jaffa turned out to be Goa’uld and a sentry had sounded the alarm the moment SG1 emerged through the gate. Sam was captured trying to provide cover for her teammates to escape and while SG1 struggled to find a way to free her, she had been tortured for the gate address to Earth, enduring a brutal interrogation with a painstick that left her traumatized, bruised and bloody. Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c eventually managed to create a massive distraction by rigging and blowing up two Goa’uld cargo ships and during the melee, they rescued Sam and gated back to earth,

 

 _She never caved_ ; Janet thought proudly, _she gave only her name, rank and serial number.  She never surrendered and she maintained her it’s-no-big-deal façade everywhere but in our bed_. For weeks afterward, every night after Janet brought her home Sam woke up screaming, and every night Janet would hold her as she cried; murmuring words of love and comfort until Sam’s tears and violent trembling finally quieted. 

 

As soon as Sam had recovered physically from her injuries, SG1 was off again. This time they were gone only three days and nights but every night Janet woke in a cold sweat, shaking and tearful from horrific images of Sam being tortured by the Goa’uld.  But this time Sam and SG1 returned safely, and while Janet’s nightmares magically vanished with Sam’s return, Sam’s first night home was violently interrupted by images of pain and fear. _We’ll get through it_ , Janet thought sleepily, her warm hands wrapping softly around Sam’s, tucked under her chin. _We’ll work through it…_ on their own, Sam’s fingers tightened around Janet’s. She watched for signs of wakefulness but Sam only sighed and appeared to sink even further into slumber.

 

 _SG1 finally bonded as a unified team after that._ When the colonel and Daniel dragged her back through the gate, the three had insisted on accompanying Sam’s gurney and the medical staff to the infirmary. Janet’s eyes closed at the memory; _that was one cramped elevator,_ she thought wryly and opened her eyes again so she could watch Sam sleep. Night was ending and Janet emblazoned Sam’s soft features on her retinas as light strayed through the blinds and into their bedroom. In spite of her reassurance that Sam would recover, SG1 insisted on staying in the infirmary until Janet finally ordered them to their quarters to rest, forbidding them to return until the following morning.  On his way out, Daniel confided to her that sleep was unlikely for any of them as they clearly heard Sam’s screams while they struggled to free her.

 

Janet pulled gently on Sam’s hand and placed soft lips against the backs of her fingers, _That’s when Daniel and the colonel’s respect and loyalty for her suddenly knew no bounds…_ The lips pressed against Sam’s long fingers curved into a soft smile, _and now they want to be groomsmen at our wedding._ She longed to wear the ring Sam had asked Daniel to help design, but Sam made her promise to wait until the ceremony and Janet had only agreed after a long night of seemingly endless lovemaking.

 

 _So much has changed since she came back from Simarka_ , Janet mused.  After almost deciding to leave the stargate program Sam now knew all her teammates watched her back as fiercely as she watched theirs. She and Sam were engaged, and they had moved into their new home….

 

“Hey…”

 

“Hey yourself,” Janet smiled into sleepy blue, “did I wake you?”

 

“Don’t think so.” Sam mumbled; her eyes closing as she snuggled closer.

 

“Wanna’ get up?”

 

“No.” Sam mumbled again, making Janet’s smile even wider.  Her eyes opened again and sleepily regarded her, “Sill like the house?”

 

“I love our house.”

 

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, “Still wanna’ get married?”

 

Janet pulled at the hands she still held under her chin; Sam asked her these questions nearly every night, taking obvious delight in Janet’s answer, “I can’t wait to get married to you, Sam.” she answered, her voice becoming thick as her throat closed.

 

Sam gave her a lopsided grin, “Good, me too.” She dropped into endless brown for a long moment then asked more seriously, “Are you still okay with me staying in the stargate program?”

 

Janet knew this question was coming and her answer was swift, “You bring a lot to the table that no one else can, sweetheart.” She shrugged, “I’ll admit there’s a big selfish part of me that wishes you didn’t… that way I could have you all to myself, and I could keep you out of harm’s way…” her voice trailed away. “But that is what makes me love you so much; your intellect, your commitment, your bravery… it’s all the parts of you that make me love you, Sam.” She forced the lump from her throat, “So I suppose I can share you with the galaxy,” she sighed expressively, eliciting an amused snort from Sam, “and the United States Air Force....” The smile faded from her lips, gradually replaced by the look of absolute determination Sam had become so familiar with, “But make no mistake, Samantha Carter, we belong to each other… you are my beloved.” She bit her lips together to stop the insistent quiver in her voice.

 

Sam raised herself on one elbow and cupped the smaller face in her hand, “And you are mine.” she husked, and fathomless ocean blue gazed long into endless brown before Sam finally placed her lips softly against Janet’s,

 

“You are mine.”


End file.
